I was seven years old the final time I laid eyes on my mom.<\/p>\n
It started as a normal morning. Rose was tying my twin sister Lucy\u2019s hair in braids at the dining table while I struggled with my shoelaces on the floor.<\/p>\n
She gave us both a kiss on the forehead before we got into the car.<\/p>\n
\u201cI will get you girls after classes,\u201d she told us. \u201cI care about you both more than the entire sky.\u201d<\/p>\n
Those were the final words she ever spoke to us.<\/p>\n
Later that day, Dad was the one standing by the school gate. His eyes looked bloodshot, and his hands kept trembling.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere is Mom?\u201d Lucy asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cYour mother\u2026 is not showing up, honey,\u201d he said quietly.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen will she return?\u201d I pulled on his shirt. \u201cDad, when?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI have no idea, sweetie. I really do not know.\u201d<\/p>\n
We stayed up waiting that evening. And the following one. And the one after that.<\/p>\n
But Mom had vanished.<\/p>\n
Three months later, Amber stepped into our living room carrying presents, a casserole, and a smile that made me uneasy, even though I was too young to understand why.<\/p>\n
\u201cKids, meet Amber, my close friend from the office,\u201d Dad said gently. \u201cShe is going to help us for a bit.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHello, darlings,\u201d Amber greeted, kneeling down. \u201cI have heard so many things about you both. Are you not the most beautiful little girls?\u201d<\/p>\n
Lucy tucked herself behind me. I just stared at her.<\/p>\n
Barely four weeks after that first introduction, Amber became our stepmom.<\/p>\n
In the beginning, Amber packed our school lunches and told us bedtime stories in silly voices. She did Lucy\u2019s hair in pretty styles every morning and helped me pull weeds from my little garden outside.<\/p>\n
It felt as if her kindness might somehow repair what had broken in our home when Mom left, yet Amber\u2019s friendliness had an expiration date.<\/p>\n
By the time we turned nine, her attitude had twisted into something completely different.<\/p>\n
\u201cCould we buy those new shoes all the kids are wearing?\u201d Lucy asked one morning.<\/p>\n
\u201cBe thankful for the things you own,\u201d Amber snapped. \u201cYour real mom left you behind. I am the one who stayed.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI apologize,\u201d Lucy murmured.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo not apologize. Just show some gratitude.\u201d<\/p>\n
That response became the theme song of our childhood. We heard those words whenever we asked about school trips or new winter coats.<\/p>\n
\u201cCash is tight, kids,\u201d Amber would sigh. \u201cYou know your dad works so hard.\u201d<\/p>\n
So we made do with secondhand clothes, cheap meals, no birthday parties, and no holiday trips.<\/p>\n
Meanwhile, Amber\u2019s closet filled with expensive jackets. She bought a new cell phone every year and visited the salon roughly every four weeks.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow come Amber gets new stuff while we get nothing?\u201d I asked Lucy one night under the blankets.<\/p>\n
\u201cQuiet,\u201d Lucy hushed me. \u201cDo not make her angry. She could leave too.\u201d<\/p>\n
That became the fear that shaped us: the idea that mothers leave, and love had to be earned by always staying small, quiet, and grateful.<\/p>\n
We believed we were the kind of children a mother would easily abandon. It had happened once before, and we were terrified it might happen again.<\/p>\n
We had no idea that everything we believed about our mother\u2019s disappearance was completely false.<\/p>\n
The drive over to Amber\u2019s house felt strange this Mother\u2019s Day.<\/p>\n
Lucy had texted me earlier: \u201cI am unable to go. I tried to get off, but I am working back-to-back shifts. Please tell Amber I care for her deeply, and I will make it up to her very soon.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI will handle this for you,\u201d I replied. \u201cDo not stress! I will buy a large bouquet of flowers for both of us.\u201d<\/p>\n
I bought pink stargazer lilies on the way, since they were Amber\u2019s favorite. The purchase cost $30 I could barely spare, but Amber had stayed with us \u2014 and that mattered. Plus, the gift needed to look nice enough so Lucy would not get any backlash.<\/p>\n
The front door was unlocked when I arrived.<\/p>\n
I almost called out a greeting, but I heard her talking in the kitchen in that cheerful voice she only used when she thought no one was around to listen.<\/p>\n
I stopped in the hallway because I did not want to interrupt her.<\/p>\n
A moment later, I heard my own name. I glanced into the kitchen and saw her on the phone with her back to me.<\/p>\n
\u201c\u2026 just Stella. The second one sent me a weak text about how she could not show up.\u201d She laughed. \u201cI taught them perfectly, I promise you. They are so desperate for approval, they would burn alive just to give me heat.\u201d<\/p>\n
A moment of silence passed. Barely enough time for me to stop myself from yelling. Then came more laughter.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh goodness,\u201d she sighed. \u201cI truly cannot process how in fifteen years, those twin idiots never guessed a single detail. I constantly wonder \u2014 why are they so gullible? Plus I tricked their sad mother too. She has no idea that\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
She paused abruptly and looked around the room. I quickly pressed myself back against the hallway wall.<\/p>\n
\u201c\u2026 that she has been yelling into an empty space for a decade and a half,\u201d Amber finished. \u201cI made sure neither of those kids ever saw those notes.\u201d<\/p>\n
Notes? Our mom had sent us messages?<\/p>\n
\u201cShe simply needed to act stubborn,\u201d Amber said with a breath. \u201cIt was quite simple to trick her into believing James intended to make her poor and take away her custody during their split. James mentioned at the office one time that she had dealt with deep sadness in the past, so I warned her he meant to lock her up in a mental hospital.\u201d<\/p>\n
I covered my mouth with my hand. Did those words mean what I thought they did? Had Amber planned my mother\u2019s disappearance?<\/p>\n
\u201cThose mobile texts you helped me forge looked super believable. She fled, exactly as I expected she might, yet the mail began arriving twelve months afterward.\u201d<\/p>\n
I felt the urge to vomit.<\/p>\n
But the most important thing was that I needed to find that mail!<\/p>\n
\u201cSweetie, I need to hang up,\u201d Amber said suddenly. \u201cYeah, it is Mother\u2019s Day with my loyal kid. Wish me luck.\u201d<\/p>\n
I stared at the flowers in my hands. Then I glanced toward the kitchen doorway, watching Amber\u2019s dark silhouette move across the tiles, humming a quiet tune.<\/p>\n
And I realized, with complete calm, that this morning would not turn out to be the holiday she expected.<\/p>\n
My knees nearly gave out, but I forced myself forward.<\/p>\n
I walked straight into the kitchen wearing the biggest smile I could manage.<\/p>\n
\u201cHave a wonderful Mother\u2019s Day, Amber!\u201d<\/p>\n
She turned quickly, looking startled. For a brief moment her expression twitched, then settled back into a friendly look.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, honey! I missed the sound of you coming in.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe door was unlocked. I brought your favorites. From Lucy and me.\u201d<\/p>\n
She took the bouquet directly from my hands.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere is Lucy? She is supposed to be here.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cShe is working back-to-back shifts and could not get away. She sends her love and promised she will make it up to you.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell\u2026 okay. Have a seat. Your dad is going to be back shortly, and the quiche is almost ready.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cActually, may I use the restroom first?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOf course, sweetie. You know where it is.\u201d<\/p>\n
I walked down the hallway slowly, acting as if my heart was not breaking. I passed the bathroom door. I kept going.<\/p>\n
A long time ago, Amber had declared the hallway closet strictly off-limits. She claimed she stored her private things inside, yet I guessed that would be exactly where I might find Mom\u2019s letters.<\/p>\n
I gently pulled the closet door open.<\/p>\n
It was packed with Amber\u2019s belongings \u2014 mostly older designer jackets and expensive purses.<\/p>\n
Right on the floor, three stacked shoeboxes caught my eye.<\/p>\n
My heart pounded as I dropped to my knees.<\/p>\n
I lifted the lid of the first box.<\/p>\n
It was jammed with envelopes addressed to Lucy and me.<\/p>\n
I picked up one envelope. It was still sealed and bore a postmark from twelve years ago.<\/p>\n
A second one. Still sealed.<\/p>\n
A third one, though this one was open. It was a birthday card.<\/p>\n
Have a wonderful birthday, my gorgeous kids! I pray to meet you both again shortly.<\/p>\n
With affection, Mom.<\/p>\n
A small sound escaped my mouth before I could stop it.<\/p>\n
\u201cStella? Sweetie, is everything all right down the hall?\u201d Amber called.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes! Just give me one moment!\u201d<\/p>\n
I searched faster. The postmarks moved forward through the years.<\/p>\n
Then I found the prize \u2014 a paper envelope near the top with a brand-new stamp.<\/p>\n
Only nine days old.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh my goodness,\u201d I whispered.<\/p>\n
\u201cStella?\u201d<\/p>\n
Amber\u2019s heavy footsteps echoed down the hallway.<\/p>\n
I shoved the letters into my bag, into my coat, into the waistband of my pants \u2014 anywhere they would fit.<\/p>\n
\u201cStella, what in the world are you\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
Amber stopped right at the closet doorway.<\/p>\n
Her face shifted through three expressions in a single heartbeat. Confusion. Realization. Then something far colder than anything I had ever seen from her.<\/p>\n
\u201cReturn those items immediately, or I will make sure your dad never speaks to you or your sister for the rest of your lives.\u201d<\/p>\n
Every single fear from my childhood crashed down on my shoulders.<\/p>\n
I stared straight at her, unable to speak, knowing completely that her threat was real, and certain that if anyone could make it happen, it was this woman.<\/p>\n
\u201cI mean it.\u201d She stepped closer, her voice dropping. \u201cYour dad is going to walk through that door any second. Put those things down, sit at the table, finish your quiche, and we will never speak of this again. This is the absolute last chance I am giving you, Stella.\u201d<\/p>\n
The front door unlocked with a click right at that moment.<\/p>\n
Amber exhaled. \u201cIt appears your time is up.\u201d<\/p>\n
I completely panicked.<\/p>\n
\u201cDad! Please come here, you have to see\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
I stopped mid-sentence because Amber\u2019s hand shot forward and clamped onto my arm. Hard.<\/p>\n
\u201cStella?\u201d Dad called, his shoes hurrying across the floorboards.<\/p>\n
\u201cFinal warning,\u201d Amber growled. \u201cSmile, Stella, or I swear to God I will throw you out of this house before the sun sets.\u201d<\/p>\n
I looked down at her grip, then lifted my eyes to hers, and I saw a clear truth: Amber was terrified.<\/p>\n
Dad walked up right past Amber and stared at the two of us.<\/p>\n
\u201cStella, what is going on here? Those belong to Amber\u2019s private things,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
\u201cThank God you are here!\u201d Amber spun around and clung to my dad. \u201cStella has gone crazy! She started tearing through all my belongings, making wild accusations\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI have not gone crazy!\u201d I held up a large stack of envelopes. \u201cDad. Look at this handwriting. These are letters from Mom. Amber has been hiding them all this time.\u201d<\/p>\n
His face drained of color. \u201cThat is Rose\u2019s handwriting.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThere are piles of them, Dad. Completely sealed. Completely addressed to Lucy and me.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI can explain\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
Dad turned to Amber. \u201cShe vanished without a single word, without a goodbye\u2026 and you have been stashing mail from her this whole time?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThis envelope arrived just last week.\u201d I held up the newest letter. \u201cAmber manipulated Mom. She convinced Mom that you wanted a divorce and were planning to destroy her life and lock her in a hospital because of her depression. I overheard her on the phone, Dad. Bragging about the whole thing.\u201d<\/p>\n
Dad\u2019s expression turned to stone.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you see? I told you she went crazy,\u201d Amber said. \u201cYes, I held onto the mail. I truly believed I was doing the right thing. But all this nonsense about me scaring Rose off? That is just the babbling of a disturbed child!\u201d<\/p>\n
Dad shook his head. \u201cI never told the kids about Rose\u2019s struggle with depression.\u201d<\/p>\n
Amber went white.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe only person I ever discussed that with was you, a long time ago when we worked at the same place, right before Rose left. Oh my God, the whole story is true, is it not?\u201d Dad stared hard at Amber as tears filled his eyes. \u201cGet out of my house right now, Amber.\u201d<\/p>\n
Amber took a step back. She looked quickly between Dad and me and seemed to realize she had completely lost.<\/p>\n
\u201cFine, I will leave,\u201d she snapped. \u201cBut you will regret this. Every single one of you! I was the best thing that ever happened to this family.\u201d<\/p>\n
She turned sharply on her heel and stormed out.<\/p>\n
Dad sank down onto the floor beside me. He took the newest envelope from my hands with trembling fingers and turned it over.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe return address is only two towns away.\u201d He met my eyes. \u201cWe need to get Lucy and go. Right now.\u201d<\/p>\n
We drove to the store where Lucy worked. After a little convincing, her manager let her clock out early.<\/p>\n
We traveled the whole way in silence and finally parked in front of a modest house with a neat front yard.<\/p>\n
I knocked on the door. The woman who opened it looked exactly like Lucy and me, only older. She stared at our faces in pure disbelief for a second, then broke down into heavy tears.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy babies! Is it really you two?\u201d<\/p>\n
I pulled her into a tight hug. \u201cIt is really us, Mom.\u201d<\/p>\n
And for the first time in fifteen long years, I felt truly wanted.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I was seven years old the final time I laid eyes on my mom. It started as a normal morning. Rose was tying my twin sister Lucy\u2019s hair in braids at the dining table while I struggled with my shoelaces on the floor. She gave us both a kiss on the forehead before we got…<\/p>\n